Merry Christmas!

Times are tough, and I don’t have a lot of money. I couldn’t even afford a Christmas tree this year, so I prayed for help. Ask and ye shall receive! God (or maybe it was Santa Clause) sent me not one but two trees a few nights ago. Seriously, they just magically dropped down from the sky. They just happened to land right on one of my favorite parking spots too, but I was parked in front at the time, so I guess someone really is looking after me.

Well, I didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the gift, so I threw some garland and ornaments on to claim them as my Christmas trees. It looks real pretty when it’s lit up at night. Laugh all you want, but I didn’t pay a damn thing for them. And I’ll bet my trees have caused more people to smile than that one you’ve got hidden inside your house. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown. My tree is every bit as ugly as yours, but a whole lot bigger.

The strange thing is that the trees hanging over the house look half dead, yet not a single limb fell there. But the trees on the side of the house appear to be young and healthy. Go figure - maybe someone really is looking out for me. We actually had quite a few limbs fall in this neighborhood, but as far as I can see no home or auto damage occurred.

I kept hearing what sounded like small explosions all night long, and by the time I went out Friday morning, the empty lot across the street was half covered with fallen debris. By Saturday, the lot was totally covered.

I was outside around nine in the morning when a large limb fell just to the north of me. It covered the street so precisely from curb to curb that it almost looked like it had been placed there. You’d think this would have completely stopped traffic, but a few cars (and at least one city bus) just drove on the sidewalk to bypass it.

A neighbor came over and asked if I’d help him move the branch out of the street. I told him I actually thought that having traffic slowed down here was a good thing, so I’d just leave it. He thought about what I said for a second then added that he saw my point and it sounded good to him.

About an hour later, two guys hooked a rope to it and pulled it out of the way (sort of.) They actually left it in one lane of the street and right along the side of my house. That pretty much finished blocking off the parking on the side of my house and I felt compelled to say something to them at first. But then I figured they were just trying to help, and there really was no good place to put it, so I just let it pass. I’m betting it will be after Christmas before the City gets around to clearing this road. Sure hope so, because I don’t plan to take the tree lights down until after that.

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Well, I hope all of you survived the storm, and I wish all of you a merry Christmas.