My HUD House: Past, Present and Future

The Past

I began this blog in February of this year with three simple goals in mind. First, I just wanted to vent my frustrations; second, I wanted to better organize my thoughts; and third, I wanted to share the story with others. I have to say that, to a large degree, I feel that all three goals have met with some success. I have also learned that these three goals are intricately connected to each other.

While the venting part might seem petty to some, I’d wager that those who feel this way have never had Molotov cocktails thrown at their home. For quite some time after this happened, my anger was actually at a dangerous level, and it’s really a wonder that I didn’t end up hurting myself or someone else because of it. I know that the blogosphere is well known for telling people to “get over it”, when they go on about an issue that occurred in the past. But in this case, the offense was too great to allow that to easily happen. But by publicly calling people such as Rusty York and Frank Gray assholes, I have actually calmed down quite a bit by now.

The second goal of organizing my thoughts was intricately tied to the first goal. I have a lot of information in my journal, and it takes some focus to be able to look at my hundreds of little notes and start to discern some type of pattern. I might pick one particular person and start perusing my notes for any time his name is mentioned. In this manner, I am able to put together a profile for that individual. But my anger, for a while, was a problem. By re-reading the notes, I relived the events, and this was not always conducive to allowing for a dispassionate mindset. But when I blog, I pull the anger out and throw it at the computer, and then I can focus more on the task of organizing my thoughts.

Regarding the third goal of telling my story to others, I have to say that I have been a bit surprised at how this has turned out so far. I resisted doing this for quite some time for two reasons. First, as I discussed above, my anger made it difficult to focus. If I had started my blog back in 2006, I am quite certain that anything I said would have been quite incomprehensible. But I also thought that hardly anybody would want to hear it. I am pleased to see that I was wrong on that account.

Don’t get me wrong, I get less than forty hits a day on average, so this is not bragging. But I do see something interesting when I look at the people who read and comment. Of course people like Bobby G. (who lives about a miles from me) and Credo (who lives two blocks from me) might be expected to have some interest in my story, because it is so similar to what they themselves face at times. But it is the comments from others that have most surprised me.

I expected the comments from people who haven’t faced the same situation I have here (or at least not on a regular basis) to respond in one of two ways. The most common response I expected was one of disbelief - regarding both the drug activities as well as the response of FWPD to them. The other response I expected was one of indifference. I was wrong on both accounts.

Although some have suggested that I move, it is usually with a concerned tone. A few times I have heard “Get out now, before you end up getting hurt.” I have not heard “Tough shit, life is rough everywhere, deal with it.” While the sympathy expressed by many readers is certainly comforting on a personal level, it goes beyond that. Regardless of the fact that it is my own predicament being talked about here, it is very nice to see that so many people can truly be concerned for the problems of another, even when it is likely that those people will never face the same problem themselves. So, the first surprise of my blog was to learn that a lot of people truly do give a damn.

The second surprise came from reading the comments of people who actually feel a connection to my circumstances. Whether it is the family who lives on Crescent Avenue (not exactly the ‘hood) who had a Molotov cocktail tossed in their front lawn (as a likely retribution for talking to the police about drug activities in their neighborhood), or the commenters who tell their own stories of corruption by police and other public officials, I have come to realize why my own story is really not that unbelievable to many people.

Overall, I’d say the best result of this blog so far is that there are now a few more people who will look at the quotes of FWPD Chief Rusty York with more skepticism, and a few more people who will question why so many members of our local media accept such drivel without any critical evaluation of it’s merits. Thank you all who’ve read and commented so far for helping me make progress towards my goals.

The Present

By now, most readers have a general idea of what is going on. It is safe to say that the illegal activities here could never have achieved the level they have without either corruption or major incompetence on the part of FWPD. But there really is a lot that hasn’t been told yet. There are also a lot of really big questions that deserve discussion, but I am not ready for that yet.

For the time being, I will just continue to tell my stories of events that occurred here in a chronological order (save the occasional interruption of current events). I have about six more stories to post leading up to the night my home was fire-bombed in October of 2006. After that, I estimate about ten to fifteen more stories to bring things up to the point when I started this blog in February of 2008. At that point, it will be time for something different.

The Future

My stories might seem to contradict this statement, but there really is not enough here to make blogging about it a regular event. I have been able to keep the storyline supplied so far, because I am drawing upon twelve years of past experiences. When my blog catches up with the present, the timing of my posts would become even more unreliable than they currently are.

I have seen blogs that go a month or more between posts sometimes, but that is not the style I want to emulate. I expect that within the next couple of months, the point will come where I will officially close this blog to new entries. I will plan to leave it open for viewing indefinitely, and I will leave contact information on the last post so that anyone who encounters it might reach me if they wish.

Although my experiences here are not enough to supply a blog in perpetuity, I am certain there will be the occasional post-worthy event in the future. I suppose if I decide I have something to say along these lines I could count on some of my blogger connections, to get that story out. Who knows, maybe I’ll talk to Bobby G. and see if he’d let me do an occasional guest post on his blog just to add to the mix.

As much as I have enjoyed writing this blog, it does take effort, and that is energy which could be put into other ventures. I have a couple ideas for what I want to do next. While one of these might be seen as slightly related to my current situation, it is much broader than that and I think it would entertain the interests of a much larger group of people than just those who read my current blog. The other project is totally unrelated to my story here. Both of these projects will require a lot of attention on my behalf, and that is just one further reason to eventually discontinue this particular blog.

When I am at the end of my story, I will announce it so no one wonders if I just fell asleep at the wheel again. And at that time, I will give information about whatever new blogging activities I have decided to focus upon. Until then, please continue reading My HUD House.

Phillip Marx