Keny Rogers: The Gambler
On my previous post, Gadfly posed an interesting question,: With all the problems I’ve had here, why don’t I just move?
First, I’ll give you some idea of how settled in I am here. When my house was firebombed, one of the officers asked where I would be staying at that night. When I told him I planned on staying here, he suggested that might not be a good idea. I told him if I left that night, when I came back the next day there would be people setting on my porch asking me what I was doing down here. I had to stay that night, or I would have been surrendering my home automatically.
For the next several days after the fire, things were very tense around here. I could not go outside without several people from all directions turning to stare at me. The most troubling aspect of this was that, although I know most people around here, I was seeing a lot of unfamiliar faces at that time. One day, I had the opportunity to approach one of the dealers alone and speak with him.
The shorthand version of what I said was “You probably realize by now that if you want to force me from my home, it’ll take a bullet to the head. You can do it for sure, hell there’s five of you here right now.” - I nodded in the direction where a group was standing. - “But it’d probably be a lot easier to just get along with me. All I want is for people to respect me and my property.”
That explains how attached I am, now for the why. My reasons for this are both personal and financial. Although the house cost me less than $3,000, I have put several thousand dollars into fixing it up over the years. And if you count the labor hours invested, it really adds up. If I tried to sell it, location would be a huge factor and probably means I wouldn’t get what I consider a fair price. If I had tried to sell it under duress, it would have been even lower. One guy actually offered me $15,000 a few days after the fire. I don’t know if he was serious, but I wouldn’t even consider such a low bid.
Also, I’m stubborn. The more someone pushes me, the more I usually resist. As I tell my story, you will find ample evidence of this. Moreover, I don’t have a wife or kids to worry about. It’s just me, and I already know that I’m going to die sometime. It might as well be standing up straight rather than running away.
Although I don’t feel race is a major factor in my circumstance here, I do find my situation similar to people who are racially harassed. Imagine you are black. You come home to find a cross burning in your yard and a sign that says “Leave or die!” What would you do? Obviously, if all of your neighbors claim they say and heard nothing, you are probably not safe there. Would concern for your safety cause you to leave, or would this unwarranted attack only strengthen your resolve to stay?
And if you can be forced from your home, are you really a free person?
As the Frisians like to say:
Bowing was alien to the old folk;
they held in honor
Their name and speech,
their free will;
Their word was law;
just and loyal were their teachings,
And force, no matter whose,
they fought against
Now evry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
ReplyDeleteIs knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
Cause evry hands a winner and evry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.
It is indeed interesting that you picked The Gambler as the foil for this post. Was it a Freudian Slip resulting from the operation of your unconscious wish to end this conflict?
Maslow's Hierachry of Needs has Safety, as the second level above Physiological needs such as breathing, eating, and sleeping. There is no apparent satisfaction attained from being safe, but anxiety will prevail until you fulfill that need.
Rationalize all you will, but (by your own admission) you have nothing that requires you to remain in that neighborhood.
I will leave you with the thoughts of one of my favorite columnists, Mark Steyn:
As Martin Niemöller famously said, first they came for Piglet and I did not speak out because I was not a Disney character and, if I was, I’m more of an Eeyore. So then they came for the Three Little Pigs, and Babe, and by the time I realized my country had turned into a 24/7 Looney Tunes it was too late, because there was no Porky Pig to stammer “Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!” and bring the nightmare to an end.
Bobby G.
ReplyDelete"something worth HAVING is something worth holding onto". - thoughtful advice.
"And if race enters into the picture, then yes, I DO feel racially harrassed." - What I meant by my statement is the following: While it's a fact that most of the crime here is committed by black people, it's also a fact that the many good things that occur here are caused by black people. In fact, just about everything that happens here is done by black people, because 90% of the residents are black.
If I ascribe the bad elements to them because of their race, but don't do the same thing for the good elements, then I'm the racist. I don't know your story that well. It might be that there really are few good elements there Anyway, I'll take a look at your archives to get a better understanding.
I have not been the only target of harassment here. My case was just extreme because I protested so loudly. The main reasons that I have been unduly targeted is because: 1) I live on a corner. 2) Most of the time I have lived here, I lived alone. 3) I used to be away from the house for work a lot.
A busy corner location, that is only semi-occupied. They saw that as an invitation!
Gadfly,
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've actually had that same thought before. The reasons why I don't move are complex. I don't owe anything on this house, so rent (a.k.a. property taxes) is pretty cheap. I'd have to buy a house or rent somewhere else.
a LOT of it has to do with my stubborness and the fact that I think I am making a principled stand. But also, the fact that I have a lot of good neighbors here is encouraging.
I quit my job last year to go back to school. I should have my degree by the end of this year. Who knows, maybe I'll reconsider my situation after that.