Thank You Chief York!

Several days ago, a neighbor of mine told me her car had been stolen. She stated that she had filed a police report and was hoping they would not find the car so her insurance would pay her out. In the last two days, I have seen her drive past my house three times in her “stolen” car.

Now, there are several reasons why I find it to be likely that she lied to me about the car being stolen and about filing a report on it. On the other hand, there are several things that make me wonder if she actually did report it stolen. I think it is highly improbable that the car was stolen and recovered in just a few days, so this would mean that she filed a false report with the intent of collecting on a fraudulent insurance claim.

If my city had a functional police department, I would call them to report this information. It would only take a few minutes for them to identify her and find out if she had in fact filed a stolen vehicle report. If not, there really would be nothing lost for checking.

But my police department is extremely dysfunctional. If I did call, I would first probably have to endure the “Who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you bothering us?” routine before I actually got a chance to tell them what was on my mind. Then, they would send a uniformed officer to my house to ask me the same questions that the civilian operator had just asked me. I would offer to show this officer my security tapes documenting the dates and times that my neighbor drove past in her stolen car. He would decline this offer, but take my number so he can contact me later. I would tell him that my tapes have a short record-over period, and that I will not save anything unless I am instructed to do so by his department.

About a week later, another officer would call me back to tell me he heard that I wanted to report a stolen car. After explaining that what I was actually trying to report was the possibility that someone else had filed a false report of a stolen car, he would then tell me he will call me back later about this because he needs time to analyze this new information. I would remind him that my tapes of the incidents are very close to being recorded over. He will give no response to this.

Next (about a month later this time) another officer will knock on my door. He will explain that he is here to investigate my stolen car incident. After we straighten this out again, he will then chastise me for giving his department a contact number that is no longer in service (which is his excuse for having taken so long to get a hold of me.) When I ask what number he has, I will realize that somehow the idiots have pulled an old number of mine out of their system, and managed to replace it for the current number which I had recently just given to three different people within their department. He will get very upset at me when I inform him that my video tapes have long since recorded over the incident I reported on.

Finally, about a month later, a detective will call me. He will first ask if my car has been recovered yet. After I explain that my car was never stolen, he will then ask if I have received compensation from my insurance company for the stolen car. After I again explain that my car was never stolen, he will tell me that this type of crime is usually a low priority for the prosecutor’s office, and he really doesn’t want to put forth the effort to investigate something that will not be prosecuted. He will recommend that if I am able to get compensation from my insurance company for the stolen car that it would be best to just let it drop.

At this point, I will fake like I am putting him on hold to take another call. I will then come back and tell him that my insurance company has just called to tell me that they are cutting me a check for my stolen car. I will thank him for his time, apologize for not having saved the video that his department never asked me to save, and apologize for his department having switched my phone numbers (because, for some reason, he is really pissed at me over this) then hang up. I will then wonder why in the hell I even called in the first place.

And the next day I will read in the paper that Chief York is concerned about the increase in vehicle thefts. He will mention one particular case which sounds very similar to my neighbor’s “stolen” car. The Chief will be quoted in this article as saying that the reason his department can’t get this problem under control is because citizens refuse to cooperate with his department. He will then state that some people act this way because they don’t care, while others do so because they are scared. And just after admitting that there are groups of criminals who are strong enough to intimidate people and keep them from talking with the police, he will reiterate that Fort Wayne does not have a gang problem.

But I don’t have to go through this type of ordeal now, because I’ve already been through it several times in the past. I already know that whoever answers the phone will probably not have a clue about much of anything. And I know that either I will be quickly dismissed or several officers will ask me the same questions, yet still manage to lose or confuse the answers I give them. And ultimately, I know that however they may word it, their final message to me will be “Please don’t bother us. We’re cops, which means we really don’t want to hear anything at all from you fucking moron civilians anyway. Please just leave us alone and let us do our job - whatever the hell that might be.”

Anyway, I suppose the basic point of this post is to thank Chief York. After all, being an upstanding citizen who pays attention to his surroundings and reports suspicious behavior to the police takes a bit of time. And in neighborhoods like mine, it can be downright exhausting. But Chief York’s mismanagement of the police department lets me know that any such efforts on my part will probably be wasted. With this department, there really is no compelling reason to try and cooperate.

So thank you, Rusty. Thank you for telling me that it is okay for me to ignore felony crimes taking place around me. Thank you for telling me it is all right to not put forth the effort of being a good citizen. I get a lot more yard work done by not having to waste my time calling your department to report crimes that you really don’t want to investigate. Thank you Rusty!