Please Arrest Me: November 4, 2006

Here’s another story that is just too funny not to tell. But it conveys a couple of serious points as well. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon when I stepped out my front door to see three squad cars parked in the intersection. Three officers were standing on the corner speaking with Lucy. Apparently she had rode her bicycle right in front of one of the officers as he was driving along, and they stopped to question her about it.

From the time I came out, it appeared to me that Lucy was acting very belligerent, while the officers were simply trying to calm her down and ask a few questions. It appeared to me that she was very high, but my subsequent observations of her lead me to believe that she always acts that way. In fact, even when she is befriending someone, she sounds hostile towards them. But it was apparent this time that she was pissed about being stopped by the police, and was intent on letting them know this.

Arlen had stepped out of his house to see what was going on, so I walked over to talk with him. At this point, Lucy still had not been arrested, but it was looking like that was the direction things were heading in. Arlen said that Lucy was a relative of his, and he wanted to put her bike in his back yard for safe keeping. He wanted to ask the police if this was okay, but he was afraid they would get mad at him interfering. He had been drinking, and the smell of whiskey was on his breathe. He figured the police could use this as an excuse to arrest him, so he stayed in his own yard.

I happened to know two of the three officers who were present that day. One was Officer Rogers. He was the one who accosted me as I was going to get in my truck earlier in the year and insinuated that the drug activities here were my fault. He was certainly no friend of mine. But Officer Powell was also on hand. He was the one who came out for the bag of pot on my front steps. Although his suggestion to get a no-trespass order from FWPD turned out to be not very useful, this was no fault of his. It was obvious to me from the way he dealt with things that day that he at least gave a damn.

By now, they were handcuffing Lucy, so I decided to convey Arlen’s thoughts to the officers. I approached the trio, remembering full well the time I did this several years ago with another group of officers ago and was nearly arrested for it. I called to Officer Powell by name and told him my neighbor wanted to know if he could take possession of the bike. The third officer, Eagleburger, then turned to me and said “Well, she’s not being very cooperative. I really don’t know if I want to help her out.” He was frustrated and angry, but it seemed directed at Lucy, rather than at me.

I responded to Officer Eagleburger that I could see she was making a lot of noise, and I didn’t blame them for arresting her. But I suggested that giving the bike to Arlen would save them some trouble as well, by not having to take it to the police station. He said he’d think about it, then turned back towards Lucy. A minute later, Officer Powell wheeled the bike over to Arlen. The officers began searching Lucy and pulled a 14’ fillet knife from her pants. They discussed the matter for a minute, then Officer Rogers walked over to Arlen to offer him the knife as well. This is the part that was really funny, and you would actually have to see it to get the full impact.

First of all, the way Officer Rogers was carrying the knife was interesting in itself. He was holding it as one would hold a dirty sock - the edge of the finger tips barely gripping it , and a dour look on his face. Arlen had been joined by his wife Dolley at this point, and their reaction was even more hilarious than Officer Powell’s behavior. As the officer offered the knife to them, they both jumped back and said in unison “Oh no, we don’t want that!” Officer Powell got a confused look on his face, as he just didn’t seem to understand why they would offer to take charge of a bike, but not a deadly weapon.

Anyway, I thought this episode illustrated several important points. First, Arlen had done nothing wrong. Although he had been drinking, it was inside his house. Yet he was afraid to even speak to these officers for fear that he would be arrested. And I had learned two important things about the police that day. First, if you happen to know the officer by name, it is more likely that he will speak to you rather than shout at you to just shut up. But I also saw another example of an officer showing that he gave a damn. There was no need to take Lucy’s bike in because getting arrested would be enough punishment for her rude behavior. But offering the bike to Arlen was a show of goodwill towards him (and perhaps myself), not necessarily towards Lucy.

The final lesson I learned that day is one I really wish that I could share with those officers and the rest of FWPD. At the beginning of this, as I stood there with Arlen watching the police argue with Lucy, he was mumbling under his breathe about how they were just harassing her. By the time they left though, he was praising them for doing a good job. I know the fact that Lucy just wouldn’t shut the hell up helped him to realize that the police were right in arresting her. But I expect their being responsive to his offer to take the bike helped sway his opinion also.

Overall, I guess the lessons learned that day were that not all cops are pricks and not all the people who live here are assholes. Both Arlen and I saw proof of the former, but I’m not sure how aware those officers were of the latter. I really would like to tell them about this story (and many others like it) and how their own positive behavior affected a positive change in Arlen’s attitude. But such communication between FWPD and the citizens they supposedly serve does not exist - because FWPD will not allow it.

And this is what is so frustrating about my entire position regarding FWPD. They have shut me (and many others) out probably based upon the false assumption that all we want to do is bitch and cause problems for them. But that is only one side of the coin. I also have a lot of useful things to say about what they are doing right. If there was anybody who runs that department that didn’t have their head shoved entirely up their ass, they would see that listening to me could actually be quite beneficial to them.

Intelligent people should always seek to understand themselves, and doing so usually leads to enhanced performance. Intelligent people understand that no matter how smart they (think they) are, they can always learn something useful by studying another’s perspective. And intelligent people realize that when other people who observe them give an appraisal of their behavior, whether critical or complimentary, this can lead to a better understanding of oneself. But as I said before, it appears that a lack of intelligence is required to move up the ranks at FWPD.